Jonathan Bailey and the legacy of homophobia at school

Recently, actor Jonathan Bailey shared something powerful. At school, he did not feel safe being himself. Being gay was not accepted or celebrated. He described it as feeling like he was in a 'straight jacket'. It is a strong image and one that reflects how many queer young people have felt, often in silence, and how the impact of homophobia at school can continue into adulthood.

Why his words matter

Even though times have changed to an extent, the effects of school-based homophobia are still very real for many LGBTQ+ adults. At the time Jonathan was at school, the UK operated under a law called Section 28, which meant schools were legally banned from “promoting" homosexuality to students. This created a harmful void in support, advice and guidance for young people - and fueled a stigma that left many vulnerable to bullying and harassment.

Then and now, lots of LGBTQ+ people grow up feeling they have no one to confide in. Parents, carers and teachers might seem untrustworthy or out of reach. The silence around identity often leads to shame or confusion.

Jonathan’s honesty highlights something important. Success or confidence later in life does not erase the wounds from growing up in an environment where you felt alone or unable to speak.

What I often see in therapy

When someone comes to therapy with a background of homophobic bullying or feeling unsafe at school, there are a few common themes.

• They often blame themselves and believe something about them was wrong

• They may have built emotional walls to protect themselves

• They may find it difficult to trust others or to let people close

  
  

These reactions made sense at the time. If being yourself felt risky, hiding became a form of safety. As adults, those same protective behaviours can become barriers to connection and belonging.

For many people, other factors add extra weight. This might include racism, financial hardship, or coming to understand that their gender identity does not match the one they were assigned at birth. All of this can intensify the emotional impact of those early years.

Why person centred therapy helps

Person centred therapy can offer something many LGBTQ+ people never had growing up. It provides a space where you can be yourself without pressure or judgement. It is not focused on labels or being 'fixed'. It is centred on being heard, understood and accepted.

Sometimes therapy involves gently looking back at earlier experiences from a kinder perspective. I may invite someone to imagine how they would support a younger relative who had gone through something similar. This often helps shift blame away from the younger self who did not have the tools or support to cope at the time.

When someone shares these memories for the first time, I focus on moving at their pace. I offer warmth, validation and space for whatever comes up. There is no expectation to push forward. The work happens gradually and with care.

Identity is universal

Of course, you do not have to be LGBTQ+ to feel unsafe at school. People are singled out for many reasons, and the underlying theme is usually identity.

When a young person is targeted for who they are, it touches something deeply personal. It can shape their sense of themselves for years. Therapy can help make sense of that, learn to accept yourself - and even celebrate who you are.

All of this reminds us that the stories we carry from childhood deserve care and attention, and that healing is possible when we finally have the space to speak them aloud.