Why LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapy matters to me

Therapy can feel daunting if you have spent years being told your identity is wrong or not valid. In this blog I share what LGBTQ+ affirmative therapy means, why I chose to work in this way, and how it can help create a safe space for people to explore who they are with acceptance and compassion. 

What people carry into therapy 

Many people arrive in therapy carrying the belief that they themselves are the problem. For LGBTQ+ people, this can show up as shame, self-criticism, or a deep sense of not being valued because of who they are. Sometimes we have absorbed negative messages from family, school, religion, or society, and turned them against ourselves. Shame is powerful in that way.  

Why affirmative therapy matters 

LGBTQ+ people can face additional challenges: being ostracised by family, bullied at school, marginalised at work, or made to feel like outsiders looking in. Years of masking or hiding can leave someone unsure of what their authentic self even looks like. 

This is where LGBTQ+ affirmative counselling can help. It is not simply about accepting someone’s sexuality or gender. It recognises the impact of stigma and shame, while celebrating identity as a source of strength. Affirmative therapy offers a safe and inclusive space to begin unpicking those experiences and to see yourself in a different, more compassionate light. Put simply, and I’ll keep saying this until I’m blue in the face: we are not the problem. 

My personal connection 

Growing up in the 90s, homophobia was everywhere in politics, the media, religion, and casual everyday conversations. It left me with a heavy sense of shame and fear of not being accepted. A turning point came through my own therapy, when I slowly realised that the problem was not me at all, but the world around me. That realisation was powerful and it began my journey to self-acceptance. 

As a gay therapist, I know first-hand how important it is to have a space that affirms rather than questions your identity. My personal journey shapes the way I show up in the therapy room. I bring lived experience and empathy, while also recognising that no two stories are the same. I continue to learn from my clients every day, through their own approaches and responses to affirmative practice. 

What it looks like in practice 

Being an LGBTQ+ affirmative therapist is not about ticking boxes or using the right jargon, although keeping up with evolving language and culture matters. For me, it is about how I am with clients. When someone shares something they have never voiced before, they may be bracing for rejection. My role is to meet them with acceptance. Counselling then becomes a safe and affirming space to unmask and be fully authentic. That is where real change happens. 

This inclusive approach benefits anyone who feels different, not only LGBTQ+ clients. Many of us live under societal rules that do not fit who we are, whether that relates to sexuality, gender, disability, race, or another part of identity. Affirmative counselling adapts to the individual, creating a space where all those intersections can be honoured. 

What clients can expect 

Over time, clients in affirming spaces often find themselves revisiting their histories through a new lens. That can bring anger, grief, or resentment, but also self-compassion. My hope is that people leave with a deeper understanding of themselves and a kinder relationship to who they are. 

Closing thoughts 

At the heart of why I do this work is a belief in therapy’s power to foster real self-acceptance. Not just surface-level self-care, but a lasting compassion for yourself once you have unpacked the messages that clouded your view. 

If you are considering therapy and want a space that is truly LGBTQ+ affirmative, inclusive, and supportive, my practice is here for you. All it really asks is that you show up as you are. The rest, we figure out together.